We just found out that Optimus Prime, the leader of Autobots, will enter 2012 presidential race in the United States as an independent. After finishing the filming of the 3rd part of the Transformers movie, Optimus Prime decided to run for a public office to prevent Americans and the human kind from getting into bigger trouble in the 4th part of the saga. Lucky us, we had an opportunity to sit down with Optimus Prime for an exclusive interview to discuss his motives and political agenda (before even CNN or Fox News could dream about getting their own ones).
Optimus Prime, why did you decide to run for the president in 2012?
So far I’ve been fighting Megatron and the Decepticons and trying to save the Earth from the invasion of hostile aliens. But when I watch the debt ceiling debate on C-SPAN, I start to think that I’ve been wasting my time doing some chicken job. Megatron compared to the U.S. public debt looks like an ant compared to an elephant. I want to fight the elephant.
But you are not an American by birth, so the U.S. Constitution bars you from running?
I have double citizenship. One small window in my truck was originally made in America and the rest of the truck was imported from China. So I can legally run for the President in both those countries. I will also give every voter my word that 3 years into the presidency I will show my original birth certificate, so hold your breath and don’t jump into conclusions prematurely.
What’s your idea to solve illegal immigration?
I will put Bumblebee at the U.S.-Mexico border. Nobody will get in, nobody will get out.
What’s your plan to balance the budget?
It’s simple. It took George Bush and Barack Obama 10 years to locate and capture Osama Bin Laden and they spent a trillion of dollars on that. Instead, they should have asked me or Jack Bauer to do it and Bin Laden would have been taken out in one day only. If I am elected the President, I will take out Hugo Chavez in the morning and Ahmadinejad in the afternoon of the same day. That’s how I am going to balance the budget and you can keep the change.
Why don’t you run as a Republican?
Because Mitt Romney looks like a Megatron and GOP already has one guy who threatens that he will Newter everybody who gets into his way. So no place for me over there, the competition is too fierce.
So why don’t you run as a Democrat?
Because Democrats have small weiners. They would definitely lose self confidence if I joined them.
Aren’t you afraid that Donald Trump will also run as an independent and prevent you from winning?
Not at all because my Campaign already has something that will destroy Donald Trump’s hopes of getting elected.
What is it?
We have photos of his original hairline and we will not hesitate to release them. We are ready.
I am Optimus Prime and I approve this interview. Tell that to your readers.
